Neck-Liposuction.com

I hitched my journal up to my chest and walked a little faster. His black cape swished out of view from behind me as I shakily turned to look at my follower. As the Brooklyn wind blew back to me, I caught a whiff of gunpowder that had prompted my panic.

I shakily turned once more, to check if anyone was still pursuing me, only to be stopped dead in my tracks by a man in black. I felt my eyes widen with fear as did his smirk with satisfactory at my horror.

My body stood stiff and frozen as the man stepped closer to me; not even the sound of my heart pounding with terror could be heard.

The worst part from this moment in time is that I had been so sure that he would never find me again; I had been so positive but yet I had been so wrong. I remembered that look in his eyes as he let my little sister slip through his hands and as he let the gun fall to the dirt.

The look of pure anger that someone had finally witnessed his hobby. I remembered his ireful roars at me and the sound of his raging footsteps echoing off inside my head.

"My sweet, sweet Alice" he whispered and it was then that I realized how close he was to me as he ran his cold, grimy fingers down my face and neck until they rested on my necklace that resembled what I was.

"I’ve been searching for this for years.” “Fortunately for you, your parents gave all that they had so that you would be protected and out of reach from me…" he stated slowly, his musty eyes locked on the gold chain that hung from my neck.

His lazy grin widened even more as he yanked it off, tearing the clasp to pieces. “Unfortunately, that shield has not lasted forever.”

"You’re coming with me beautiful" he said more as a demand than a statement. I narrowed my eyes, stepping out of reach from him and he just shook his head, chuckling to himself softly. "Now, do not make this a struggle. If you want to come out alive you will obey me" he muttered darkly, seizing me by the arm.

I tried in vain to scream my lungs out but I knew that in the end it would be no use. He was a 27 year old grown man and I was a 17 year old girl who could just barley lift 50 pounds.

As he began walking at a faster pace, searching for any witnesses, I attempted to remember any karate moves from my younger years, but the fact that I was about to be dragged off to who knows where blocked any remembrance of any self-defense.

Soon we were approaching the forest far behind the orphanage and my mother’s words kept echoing threw my mind.

"Just let him kill you. Wherever you are going is worse".

Suddenly I let out an ear-piercing scream. I struggled, I spit, I kicked, I launched the paper-weight, no-good-for-defense notebook but it all was no use. All he had to do is say one word, "Stupefy", and I was out like a light, vulnerable to anything that awaited me.

———

This is the first "chapter" to my story that I’m trying to write. Does it sound good? Does it capture your attention? Or does it sound/is it boring and dull?
Thanks for all the help!

xx.

P.S. – I know its long and if you did read it all & comment then thank you very much!
Just to clear everything up – this story is in no way going to turn out like the book series Twilight. Also, yes the word "Stupfey" is from the Harry Potter series.

xx.
Thank you.