How Do You Cope With Humiliation?
Please excuse my spelling ,english is my second language.How do you cope with humiliations? What do you do when someone screams and offends you publicly ?What do you do when you find someone you know ,lie behind your back? When some one makes you cry in front of a lot of people after hurting you,emotionally and physically?what if this was your doctor? It happen yesterday to me ,that an unprofessional doctor,humiliated me,used force and violence with her hands to insert a tube down my throat .Everyone is in her favor ,and I insist is abuse what she did,because she did not stop when I ask her to,and hurt my nose by yanking it inside my nose with no compassion.I was not a case of life and death on wich it could be understandable to save a life.The doct. pressed hard in my fored head dow the pillow and was poking my face with the tube .She should’ve stop and help me calm down,or go step by step like I ask her in a polite way.I feel abuse and taken advantage of,My neck and back hurt from trying to lift my head up ,i couldn’t breath .What would’ve you done .I swear if I had to stay for 30 more minutes I think I would’ve grab her hair so hard down the floor in self defense.My arms,neck and back hurts do to this insident.
Walk a way from it
Ill excuse your spelling if you excuse mine. English is my second language too.
On a personal note I could probably have written the book on
"Being taken advantage of by Dummies".
What that means is, that I used to get taken advantage of by a great deal of people. You see, Im kind of a nice guy and in the past I was definately too nice and too forgiving.
Now this is all good. Being a nice person is good. However there is another side of the medal so to speak and that is the sad fact that "nice people" tend to get used and abused by the not so nice.
Now at some point I realised this and I was sick of getting taken advantage of, so I pretty much turned myself into a bastard. – I was still a nice guy – but I sure was hateful at times and some people experienced some rage from me that was not meant for them – and that is no fun either. – Makes it hard to look yourself into the eyes with any kind of pride.
So that is kind of a dilema is it not?
Be nice and get taken advantage of…
Of
Be a bastard and feel bad about your own personality…
Fortunately neither is the answer.
I assume that you are a nice person – so stay nice.
However you wanna start developing a stronger character with well defined boundries.
Please do not take offence by me saying this. But the only person who is ALWAYS there with your problems is You.
The bastards that abuse and use you change from time to time. But you are always there – you are the common denominator in this whole business. (Like I was in my situation).
The point here is, that YOU are the key to fixing your problem.
You cannot change nor persuade people to be non-abusive. But you can change yourself and become a person who does not tollerate that sort of behavior.
This is what I did. I basically developed a Zero tollerence for bastards and I would (and will) drop a bastard like a bad habit without ever thinking twise about it. – And so I did – I literally kicked every single bastard out of my life. No tollerence, no mercy and no bull anymore.
You want to stop tollerating the kind of behavior that you do not like.
You want to become more aware of what is acceptable and what is not (to you).
You want to take your anger and become more asservative.
You want to take your inaction and turn it to action.
Furthermore you want to stop letting new bastards into your life.
Develope and change the nature of your character and I promise you, that you will change the sort of people with whom you interact and spend your time with. – You will simply start disliking the company of bastard and you will start liking the company of people who are more mentally healthy and mature.
In my situation, I improved my character and that killed the little boy that I was. That allowed me to grow into a more mature man/person.
Realise that the maturity of a person will definately determine the level of unpreferables that you tollerate.
A mature person will NOT tollerate an assult on their personal boundry.
A person without this maturity (with unawareness of their boundry) will often not even try to block the assult. They will let their personal boundry get shattered and that causes the pain. – Allowing destructive people to walk right into the midst of your personality will eventually destroy you if no change is made. – How can it NOT destroy a person?
So start right now to mark and define yourself. Decide right now what you are willing to accept and not accept – what you are willing to tollerate and not tollerate. And then be true to that regardless.
Be true to yourself.
And STOP thinking that you can change people if you believe this.
You can only change yourself and that is your answer. That is the key to your permanent solution and that is better than trying to solve your people-problem on an issue by issue basis. – Doing that is basically just picking weeds and you know that weed will grow right back.
So dig deep and get the roots. Dig in yourself and notise the change in how people respond to you.
So how do you cope with humiliation? – was your question.
The answer from here is – Dont. – For the love of God stop coping and start DEMANDING people around you to cope with YOU for a change.
If you feel that you were not treated right, you should file a complaint, either through the Depart of Business Bureau or your local authority. It seems like you were hurt badly in the process, which should not happen. Violence is never the answer to anything, I am glad you did not decide to Yank her hair & throw her on the floor, you could have end up in jail. There are options, and you need to chose the one that would make the most sense. So, you can document the incident, write a formal complaint, then either send it by email or by mail. You can use the internet for everything that you need these days, I am sure you will find the where & who to direct your complaints to.